The Backpacker

I am afraid of heights, but that is exactly why I jump from heights, so as to convince myself that height is not my foe. And going by that same principle I want to scale Mt Everest. And why not? After Mt Everest, I guess I will never have to fear 40 ft drops into the ocean, right? 

Wrong. I will still have to fear 40 ft drops into the ocean if am not wearing a life jacket but that would not keep from jumping into the ocean if I have set my mind to, fear or no fear, life jacket or not! Because as I look down into the water from high above it is not just the fear that dominates the mind, it is compounded by something deeper, a feeling of exaltation that is achieved in the one second my feet leave the ground and before I hit water. Again that feeling is quickly replaced when the whole of the body is deep under, going further down before reaching the dead end where reverse force takes effect and the process of surfacing begins...then, more than fear of the water it is the fear of the lack of oxygen that takes over....and when I have finally broken surface, another fear takes over...probably I cant last till I reach the shore? What if?

I am fascinated with the process. Because this entire episode takes less than two minutes and falls largely under one word: Diving. But essentially diving is divided and sub-divided into smaller time frames, each with distinct characters, here being the reaction and feeling, at different stages of one act. Can I get through another frame without going through the first? No. although I did try to rush through the second act but to no avail. Every act is a perfectly coordinated move, following its own rules, its own rhythm and nothing can prepare you for the ultimate joy of having survived turbulent seas.

Diving is a lot like living. If I don’t wake up in the morning, how would I enjoy my breakfast? Only the time to eat is too far apart! Diving is a lot faster. I am afraid of heights, that’s why I like to dive...it sort of bridges the big difference in heights and I get closer to the ground.