The Backpacker

Time can never end...sang my favourite man. And, damn, he was right! Of course people have spoken of Healing with time' 'Away from sight...' and many such time-related philosophisies have done the rounds...all perhaps right or wrong in its own way of interpreatation and experiences.

I add my own. Time strengthens.  

One year today. Time never changed what I felt about him. Everyday of the 365 days have been the same.

Every morning I have woken up and every night I went to bed (and the time in between), I have uttered his name, along with the name of the almighty. Never mind the order. Never have I felt that I was carrying the burden, never have I felt I was wrong, that I must stop.

That is the power of love. I am glad I have proved to myself that I was right, that my feelings were true...truth always wins...love always wins...I dont know what winning in love means, but I know I was not wrong.

If I were to leave this world today, I will be glad to know that I have loved, like love should be. If I live many years, I will still feel the same. I survived days of pain, tears, joys, smiles....time changed many things, brought many changes, but time can never change what I feel about him. About N. He is a prayer, oh, he is the very world...my world.

He knows not, yet am not afraid. Because I have loved... like nothing before and nothing after...

I wonder if time will play another game with me? I intend to win everytime.  

Angry? Of course I am angry. I am angry not at him, but at myself for reacting the way I did. I guess, under the circumstance it was justified. What would any of you feel if you were to know that the person you love is shaking your hands and wishing you luck and showing you how happy he/she is over your "supposed" relationship?

I dont know who is reading this, but if you are reading this, I defnitely want to tell you that it hurts a hell lot when you decide that since I have been miserable because I loved you. But I love being miserable, I love loving you and no J's of the world are changing that.

I dont blame you at all, no, why should I? I guess I have a right to feel the way I do...even if you made your stand clear. Allow me the misery as you say, because I chose that misery over the joy in a strangers arms...but am angry, yes, because you misread in one story what you could not read in a thousand truth I wrote about you...thats why am angry...and am sorry that I am, because I love you.   

Hey.....hold it people! Vibin/Dunebasher and the rest of you guys....let me thank you for dropping by on the blog etc....but please, please do not run your conclusions on anything. And Mr Dunebasher, thanks a tonne for your wishes, thanks for 'J' as you so rightly say, am sure you would like to know that J is a happily married man and I am not waiting for him! 

Do you remember what you once told me? "You are only a journalist, for you everything is a story" and you were right. J, K, L, M are all stories, figment of my colourful imaginations. So while thanking you for your wishes, I should like to add this. There is only one truth here and you know what it is and please dont insult me by running your conclusions about J, K, L, M.

And Vibin, dont mistake 'safari drivers.' They read, they feel, they react like any of us...but sometimes, yes, they dont understand. They are simply happy not to see....what they never understand is that the Anjalys of the world are not eager to 'fall in love' at the drop of a hat. J, for Gods sake. I live through my imagination, my friend.

(...,.and if do find the time, please do read every bit of my contribution on MSN.)

http://content.msn.co.in/Contribute/Others/UCStory2653.htm

Hey readers, here is something else for you to read!